


Late Night Drabbles and Midnight Stars.

by riseupgirl



Series: letters from me to you. [1]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riseupgirl/pseuds/riseupgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say home is where the heart is; if that's true, then my home must be with you, because you've had my heart from day one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late Night Drabbles and Midnight Stars.

Late night drabbles and midnight stars.

Out there, wherever you are.

Sometimes I think I miss you. Your smile, your face, your eyes. They were different from everything else I knew, everything else I will ever know. You were different. But you just couldn't see that.

I miss stolen kisses behind others' backs, when we thought they weren't looking. I miss warm palms pressing against each other and long, bony fingers intertwining. I miss everything that came with loving you - the good, and the bad.

I miss staying up until early hours of the morning screaming, yelling and crying and throwing things and trying to get you to see my way. See things the way I did. Which of course you never did, because you were different from everything, and everything included me. Sometimes I think I forgot that, that I let my big ego get in the way. Sometimes I think I forgot how special you are, and in turn forgot to remind you of how special you are.

Look at me, talking like you're still here. It still hasn't sunk in, even now. I miss you, I miss you, god how I miss you. If only you knew.

I miss hearing your breathing at night, soft and steady but not at all quiet. You were quite the snorer, even if me mentioning it made you blush. (Your blush is really cute by the way. Did I ever tell you that?) Your snores were the metronome to my heartbeat, my fucked up heart thats all too out of time and all too out of place. They say home is where the heart is; if that's true, then my home must be with you, because you've had my heart from day one.

I miss your arms, skinny and strong and warm and just so you. I miss feeling them wrap around me while we laughed together, while I cried into your shoulder, while I made dinner. Those random and not so random moments when we weren't two people, wandering on our own and facing our pains alone; those moments when we we were one, an invincible force against the world. When we, put simply, were love.

I miss that the most. Love. Not kissing or fucking or anything sexual like that. I miss the love. I miss loving you and feeling you loving me. I miss the warmth of two souls meeting. Where that once was is now filled with the icy blood of one soul torn from another. And soon, soon enough my darling, there will be nothing. A nothingness, an emptiness.

I always liked the thought of a nothingness. Did you? I always liked the thought of there being nothing after this, no more pain or suffering or hurt. Just nothing. An emptiness. A large, black space where we just...floated. No worries, no pain. Nothing to drag us down. As light as air, floating on a nothing.

I hope there is a nothing. I've got far too much on my chest now, far too much weighing me down in this world. It's like an anchor, and I've got to let go of it. You always told me to never give up, to keep going. That I could do it. And with you, I truly believed I could. But now you're gone, and I cant.

I just hope, that if there is a nothing, and if I get sent there, that you're there too.

Yours truly,

Ryan.


End file.
